tailoredceremonies.com Blog

South Africa is making good on its promise to banish discrimination. They have legalized gay marriage, and it seems there are plenty of couples who are interested in taking vows. New Jersey legislators are currently under orders to wrestle with how to balance the rights of same-sex couples under the law, although last I read it seemed “civil unions” was winning out over “marriage,” which many want to reserve for religious purposes.

Tailored Ceremonies looks forward to the day when any couple interested in our services can be joined legally. Right now, it is South Africa’s turn. Soon, New Jersey residents will be allowed to legally share vows and be recognized, too.

Tara and Rich are married. They held the most intimate of ceremonies in their living room with two close friends and celebrated afterward.

In all the planning and whirlwind of reception locations and flowers and favors and parasols, sometimes the meaning of the day seems to take a backseat to the presentation of the day. In this case, the presentation of the day and the meaning of the day fit perfectly: one couple, lots of candles, and two rings.

We wish Tara and Rich many happy years together.

So, speculation about Tom and Katie’s legality of vows is over. As it turns out, they were already married before all this began.

Last week, Tom and Katie got married in a civil ceremony in Los Angeles because the Catholic church wouldn’t allow what they wanted–a Scientology wedding. Although some articles are derided what they did as a “party,” it was a vow renewal.

Vow renewals give couples an opportunity to share those vows with friends and family when a small ceremony was held before, which happens for many reasons.

Barry and Amber are planning a vow renewal for his return from Africa with the Navy (be safe, Barry!).

Tara and Rich are hoping to incorporate a vow renewal with their reception next year so their families can take part in something special to them. To make the vow renewal more meaningful, they are even planning a new ring exchange with bands they could not get in time for the ceremony this time.

Consider a vow renewal a chance to repeat the vows you have already taken, or an opportunity to say what you wanted to say the first time. Those who are renewing vows after many years of marriage may want to include events from those years as part of the ceremony, along with children that came as a result (and grandchildren!). Rather than dismissing a vow renewal as a “party,” see your vow renewal as another chance to connect with your spouse as well as your friends and family.

So, the New York Times has analyzed the possible Scientology vows for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I have to say, these are not the kind of vows I would think to write for anyone. Certainly, if this is what someone wanted, I could do it, but…. it seems a bit depressing for a wedding to keep harping on all the bad things that could happen. I know brides and grooms who prefer “so long as we both shall live” over “til death do us part” because they don’t want talk of death in their vows.

I prefer vows to focus on the couple, on what they believe in and how they fit together. I love when couples put together their own vows (or have me help them do it) so that the ceremony is personal and intimate without being too voyeuristic. No one needs to know all a couples most private moments and words, and a ceremony is, after all, a public declaration.

I’m not sure where the cat fits into this.

So, Tom and Katie, whether you can convince the Pope to change Catholic doctrine, convince the Italians you have legal paperwork for a civil ceremony, or merely promise Katie she’ll have a cat if she wants, best wishes.

Four years ago, my husband and I moved our wedding from July to January because the Army deployed him to the Persian Gulf. In four days, my mother convinced vendors to help us, and we had a two-tiered wedding cake, catering for 20, and a second wedding dress (the first one couldn’t be altered in time–I wore it for the vow renewal that August). County Clerk and Stafford Mayor Carl Block came to the house and performed our service. It was wonderful.

Other vendors had told us if we had to move the wedding date, we would forfeit our deposit. We didn’t use those vendors.

In Pittsburgh, a local bridal shop gave away 120 free wedding gowns to women in the service or who had fiances who are. Owner Pete Scolieri said he thought it was right to give back. I agree. The wedding gowns are stunning!

Tailored Ceremonies is also offering free wedding ceremonies to soldiers and sailors deploying to combat zones via Fort Dix/Lakehurst/McGuire here in New Jersey. Other deploying military are eligible for a discounted rate.

We’re not the only officiants to do this, and that’s a good thing for our men and women in uniform.

Congratulations, Barry and Amber! We’ll keep you in our thoughts until you come home, Barry.

It seems Mr. and hope-to-be-Mrs. Cruise didn’t consider some of the logistics of remarriage and destination weddings. Cruise had planned a Catholic ceremony, but it seems that since he intends to have a Scientology ceremony the next day, the Catholic Church isn’t interested. He hasn’t done the paperwork for a valid civil ceremony, either.

While I can’t help with the Scientology specifically, I can say that if Tom and Katie are interested, I could help with a non-denominational ceremony that would not only be exactly what they would like, it would be legal. It could even be oceanfront.

Non-denominational officiants, such as myself, are a viable option for those who do not belong to a church or who do not feel close to a particular faith. Visit my website TailoredCeremonies.com for more ideas on how to personalize your interfaith or non-denominational wedding.

That the Japanese love American culture is not news. That they are paying a lot of money for Americans to pretend to be priests so they can have Western-style weddings is. It seems the youth of Japan would rather have a lavish, Christian-style wedding and fill out civil paperwork than have a traditional Shinto ceremony. The best part is the description of what they get for the money: a fake priest who “will show up on time, remember his lines, not mix up names and perform the ceremony in 20 minutes.”

Perhaps most interesting is that the fake chapels are in unusual locations, including on the sixth floor over a supermarket.

Somehow, I don’t see that catching on here….

Sixty years later, 18 couples who married during World War II renewed their vows after taking the war-bride train that picked them up and brought them back to where their journey into Canada began. The brides immigrated to Canada from Britain and Europe after marrying Canadian soldiers. Now, six decades later, they renewed their vows and remembered the men they fell in love with.

Vow renewals such as this are unusual: most couples celebrate their unions individually. Couples may choose to recite the same vows they said once before or they may craft new ones that take into account the experiences they have shared in between. Some couples include their children as honor attendants the second time around.

Others take vow renewals to an extreme, having multiple wedding celebrations around the world. Pam and Kid are exhibit A here.

Whether your first wedding was fairy-tale perfect or you are looking to celebrate the dream wedding you couldn’t have the first time, vow renewals are a wonderful way to stay close to your spouse.

Once again this year, brides and grooms took a moment from taking their wedding seriously to throw a serious party. Several years ago, Six Flags Great Adventure held a “Hallo-wedding” on Friday, October 13. Over a dozen couples took part in the festivities, complete with scary, costumed honor attendants. The mayor of Jackson Township officiated the affair, which led into a party-style reception for the couples and their friends and families. Some couples renewed their vows while others got married for the first time in the tradition white gown and black tuxedo.

So I have a special place in my heart for those who choose to celebrate with a Halloween wedding.  In Terre Haute, a winged vampiress married Count Dracula. Another couple married in Hell.

All these stories show how creative and personal your wedding ceremony can be!